My friend Alison and I were discussing an article that showed how the popularity of vampire movies and zombie movies correlated with whether Democrats or Republicans were in office, respectively. You can read it here, but to summarize: vampire movies are popular when Democrats are in office as Republicans fear vampires because they are sexually deviant, foreigners, and parasitic (just like Democrats?). Zombie movies are popular when Republicans are in office as Democrats fear zombies because they are mindless consumers, seek to remove those who do not conform, and do not think for themselves (just like Republicans?). The article is written humorously, but it makes sense.
What we were discussing: there’s a Democrat in office now, and Twilight is basically the most popular thing ever. So what’s up with that? This article is talking about what scares us, and Twilight isn’t scary (at least it’s not supposed to be). Twilight is supposed to be sexy. It takes all the things Republicans fear about vampires and puts a sexy spin on them. We joked that maybe more young people would vote Republican if they made a sexy zombie movie. “But they could never do that, ” we said. “Zombies are gross.”
Until one day, Alison sent me this trailer:
Oh. My. GOSH. They did it??? We immediately made plans to see it. And see it we did. The verdict? Alison liked it. The critics liked it. I did not. I’m not sure why.
Maybe my expectations were too high? The previews looked funny and another friend of mine said it was better than Twilight. I actually disagreed. It bothered me that the zombies could talk a little, and that the seemed to function relatively normally, just real slow. The main zombie has thoughts, feelings, and desires. He makes decisions and long-term plans. He can drive a car! This is just not very zombie-like. Every vampire movie puts a different spin on vampires, but they always have that scene where it’s like “oh garlic doesn’t hurt us, we made that up so people would think they were safe” or “I can walk in the light because blah blah blah”. This movie didn’t have that though, it was just like SURPRISE zombies are just like you basically!
Additionally, the leading lady was even stupider than Bella, she just kept trying to escape and literally every time the zombies would chase her and the main zombie would save her and bring her back to his “house”. This happened like three or four times before one of her escape attempts actually moved the plot forward. And speaking of the plot/pacing… this movie moved as slow as the zombies. I mean, it had to I guess because you have to watch these slow creatures move around. It’s like a movie about snails, obviously they’re going to move slowly. But it just seemed to drag the plot out unnecessarily.
Anyway, everyone else seemed to like this movie, so maybe don’t listen to me. In fact, don’t. Go see it and let me know what you think!